After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
