So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
