I only kidnapped one of them. chill
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
