Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
