he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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