am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I need a beard to bite.
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