Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
