hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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