It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My dick has a subreddit
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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