God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
