Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
