so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
