from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I enjoy the company of your penis
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
