I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
