once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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