I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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