What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
