You work out of a Hotel?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
