I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
