If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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