**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
where does the pee come out of this thing
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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