I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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