I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
