I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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