whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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