grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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