had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
