Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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