My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
