she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
two words...techno handjob
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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