Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
