I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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