If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
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