And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize