I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
