Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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