She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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