I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
