You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
