I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
