singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
