No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
