forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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