I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
