She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
