I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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