Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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