I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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