Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.

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(510): View more from California

i wonder if she has dreads down there too...

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(703): View more from Virginia

its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

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(214): View more from Texas

Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle

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(954): View more from Florida

Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.

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(607): View more from New York

my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?

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