she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral