Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?

  (206): View more from Washington

  neither do i

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  (206): remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot? (206): neither do i http://tfl.nu/7dbm
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (713)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"

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  (602): and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time" http://tfl.nu/r7we
  Replies (40) Good night (8413) Bad night (3077)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.

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  (503): She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body. http://tfl.nu/sy4q
  Replies (22) Good night (7958) Bad night (581)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?

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  (404): Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them? http://tfl.nu/ts8z
  Replies (12) Good night (7974) Bad night (702)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70

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  (716): You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70 http://tfl.nu/w9g2
  Replies (13) Good night (6188) Bad night (1014)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.

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  (609): you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off. http://tfl.nu/5lgs
  Replies (13) Good night (2069) Bad night (3793)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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  (519): Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it. http://tfl.nu/0omt
  Replies (3) Good night (3903) Bad night (889)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls

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  (517): He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls http://tfl.nu/0ix2
  Replies (3) Good night (3213) Bad night (917)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.

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  (361): After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge. http://tfl.nu/26oy
  Replies (14) Good night (5001) Bad night (1269)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

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  (585): Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent. http://tfl.nu/ihl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1569) Bad night (630)
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  (284): View more from British V.I.-Carib

  they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.

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  (284): they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration. http://tfl.nu/df1l
  Replies (4) Good night (1468) Bad night (711)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning

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  (206): He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning http://tfl.nu/5k1e
  Replies (9) Good night (1646) Bad night (603)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.

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  (215): There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions. http://tfl.nu/xynj
  Replies (1) Good night (1826) Bad night (468)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too

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  (954): I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too http://tfl.nu/81kp
  Replies (0) Good night (1005) Bad night (443)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.

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  (720): New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air. http://tfl.nu/zwsc
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (206)

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