Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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