Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.