Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
