votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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