my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
