I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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