He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
They took my balls.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
