We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
