My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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