Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
