I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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