sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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