I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
