chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize