My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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